


Sickness and Dream

by cienna



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Yuletide 2010
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2010-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-13 21:54:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/142106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cienna/pseuds/cienna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oz has taken poison intended for Gil and is extremely ill. In the meantime, Gil is doing what he does best - freaking out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sickness and Dream

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pocketbookangel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketbookangel/gifts).



A loud crash wakes Gil from the area he's claimed on the floor. He rubs his eyes wearily. Oz must have thrown himself out of bed again. It’s all he can do to keep from jumping to his feet and tearing the door open. Instead, he bites his lip and tries to think of something else. Anything else. But the only thing he can see when he closes his eyes is Oz’s face. Not his face now, but how he looked as a child; all big eyes and confidence when Gil himself was the exact opposite. Forcing the image out of his mind, he pulls himself to his feet. Resisting any longer is pointless. He raises his hand to bang on the door, but then checks himself and knocks more quietly. He doesn’t want to disturb Oz anymore than he has to.

After a few moments the door opens a crack and Alice peers through, looking irritated. Her usual expression. She glares at him. “What do you want? You’re supposed to be sleeping!”

“I was. But that crash woke me up.” Gil tries to look over Alice’s head into the room, but all he can see is the soft glow of firelight. “Is he okay?”

Alice sighs and grabs his arm, pulling him inside the room and shutting the door. “He had another nightmare. Ended up falling out of the bed. I managed to get him off the floor and calm him down. But he’s still completely out of it.”

“Why don’t you go get some sleep,” Gil says, trying to play down how much he desperately wants to go and see if Oz is okay for himself.

“No way! You were with him all day,” Alice snaps.

Gil should have known the stupid rabbit wouldn’t go for that. She barely manages to lower her voice to a loud whisper when Gil looks pointedly over to Oz’s bed. “And besides, even Sharon said that you need to get some rest.”

Gil fights back the wave of anger that rushes through him at her words. Sharon had refused to allow both of them to stay with Oz after he and Alice had started arguing earlier and woken Oz up. Now they were supposed to be taking turns looking after him. Not that it was going very well so far. The thought of not being near Oz when he is so sick turns Gil’s stomach. Much less leaving him with Alice. Alice who is robbing Oz of his life every time she uses her powers. Alice who is going to kill Oz in the end unless Gil does something to stop her. Now she is looking at him strangely and he shakes his head to clear it. Those kinds of thoughts are doing nothing to help Oz.

“Look, why don’t you just go get some food or something?” he suggests. “I only need a little more time with him. Just to make sure he’s okay.”

She looks at him like he’s an idiot. “He’s not okay. You know what they said! It’ll be days before he’s recovered from the poison.”

He’s prepared to put up a fight, but then suddenly her stomach growls loudly. Alice looks down at it like she’s surprised. “I guess I am kinda hungry,” Alice mutters. She glances from the door to Oz’s bed like she’s deciding between the lesser of two evils. Finally she seems to make a decision. “I’ll be back in an hour. Don’t do anything to upset him.”

“Like I would...” His voice trails off as she turns on her heel and leaves the room, noticeably restraining herself from slamming the door. Gil doesn’t waste any time getting to Oz’s bedside.

Oz is sleeping fitfully, his blond hair damp with sweat. Gil touches his cheek and finds it feverishly warm. No surprise there. He picks up the basin of cool water at the bedside and starts using a cloth to wipe Oz’s forehead. Oz starts at the touch, but then seems to calm, his eyes staying closed. Gil looks down and realizes his hand is shaking. He puts down the cloth and takes a deep breath.

He can’t stop the images flooding through his mind when he looks at Oz. All the deaths caused by the headhunter. First the Nightrays, killed so long ago when Gil was still only a child. And now the headhunter is back and going after him. And through him, Oz.

The cake was so innocent looking. Layers of dark chocolate and cherry mousse topped with whipped cream. It had been on Gil’s plate when Sharon brought it out, but he had switched with Oz, when Oz begged him. He couldn’t deny his master anything. It was only Break who had noticed the strange symbol on the cake and stopped Oz from eating the whole slice. He was the one who had saved Oz’s life. Not Gil. It makes him furious to think how close Oz had come to dying that day.

Of course Sharon had been horrified when she realized what had happened and they had searched the kitchens, but no one could determine the origin of the mysterious chocolate cake. That had been over three days ago and Oz was still running a fever, so high that he sometimes had hallucinations. He had barely been coherent since the incident. None of the doctors from Pandora who had come to look at him seemed to have any idea when the fever would break and their medicines couldn’t seem to bring the fever down. Nothing was working.

Carefully, Gil once again brings the cloth to his master’s face and wipes it, hoping that the cool water does him some good. This time, Oz doesn’t stir. Returning the cloth to the basin he tries not to think about how long it’s been since he’s seen Oz smile, or open his eyes and look at Gil with that fond look he so often has. Gil swallows hard past the lump in his throat and lays his head down against the smooth plush covers of the bed.

***

 _Ten Years Ago_

“But why can’t I see Gil, Uncle Oscar?” Oz pleads.

Uncle Oscar meets his eyes, a serious expression on his usually cheerful face. “Gil is very sick right now, Oz. He can’t have visitors at the moment.”

“But I promised I would see him today! And he’ll get scared if he’s sick and all alone. Gil gets scared really easily!”

“I know he does, Oz.” Uncle Oscar says. “But he’s not alone. One of the other servants is going to check on him from time to time. And if you see him you might get sick too.”

“I don’t care if I get sick!” Oz realizes that he’s shouting, but he doesn’t care. This is Gil they’re talking about. Uncle Oscar doesn’t understand. “Gil needs someone to stay with him all the time so he’s not afraid.”

Uncle Oscar smiles sadly. “That’s kind of you, Oz, but I’m afraid your father might not be so pleased if one of the servants got his only son sick.”

Oz laughs bitterly. “He doesn’t care about me. He’d probably be happy if I got sick and died.” Oz can tell that for once he has shocked his uncle, because it takes a moment for him to respond and when he does he sounds shaken.

“That’s not true, Oz. Your father loves you.” Uncle Oscar touches his shoulder gently. “He would never want you to get sick. I don’t know why you would say something like that.”

Maybe because it’s true, Oz thinks. Maybe because his father has said as much. But when he looks at his Uncle’s kind face, he can’t say the words aloud.

“I’m sorry, Uncle,” he says instead. “You’re right. I shouldn’t say things like that about Father. But I still want to see Gil.” He tries not to look too hopeful. “He’s my friend.”

Uncle Oscar sighs and rubs a hand through his hair. “All right. You can go for an hour after dinner. But try not to tire him out. ”

“I wouldn’t, I swear!” Oz says heatedly.

I mean it, Oz! I know the kinds of trouble you two get involved in. But Gil still has a lot of recovering to do.”

That’s definitely a yes. Oz can’t keep the smile from spreading across his face. “Thank you, Uncle Oscar!”

His uncle reaches out a hand and ruffles his hair. “I’m glad Gil has found such a good friend.”

***

Immediately after dinner Oz rushes right over to Gil’s room, ignoring the disapproving looks from the housekeeper and the other servants. He pushes the door open without knocking because this is Gil and he never knocks on Gil’s door.

Gil is sitting up in bed, his cheeks slightly flushed, but otherwise looking normal as he flips through a book. “Master!” he exclaims, his face brightening into a smile. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to visit you,” Oz explains.

Gil’s smile changes into a look of worry. “But is it okay with your father?” he asks. “I wouldn’t want you to get sick too.”

“It’s no problem!” Oz says. “I checked with Uncle Oscar first. I’m only allowed to stay an hour though.” He frowns. “If that annoying maid wasn’t hanging around outside your room all the time I would have snuck in a lot sooner.”

Gil still looks uncertain. “Well, I guess if you don’t get too close...”

“Don’t be such a worrywart, Gil! I hardly ever get sick.” Seeing that Gill doesn’t look convinced, he quickly changes the subject. “What have you been doing in here anyway? It’s been days! You must have been so bored!”

“Well mostly I’ve been sleeping,” Gil answers. “I’ve only been well enough to read since this morning. But I still get tired really quickly.” Gil suddenly starts coughing and has to take a sip of water before he can continue. “What about you ? You haven’t been getting in trouble, have you?”

Oz bristles at the concern in Gil’s voice, like there’s no way he could possibly stay out of trouble without him around. “I’ve been fine, Gil. Although it’s kind of boring only having Ada to play with. I mean Ada’s great, but I hope that you feel better soon.” Oz looks away awkwardly.

Gil makes an attempt at a smile. “Thanks, Oz.” He pauses. “I miss you and Ada.” Gil looks down at his book and Oz suddenly notices that he’s shivering.

“Are you all right?” he asks. “Maybe you need another blanket.” The bed Gil is on is actually piled with blankets, but a lot of them seem to be around Gil’s feet instead of on top of them where they belong.

Gil pulls the blankets up tighter around himself. “Blankets don’t really help. It’s because of the fever. Sometimes I just can’t seem to get warm.” His teeth begin to chatter, the clacking sound noticeable in the silence of the big room.

Oz makes a snap decision. “Here. Scoot over. He jumps up on the bed. It’ll be warmer if I’m in there too.”

Gil looks horrified. “But you can’t get that close to me,” he stammers, “You’ll get sick.”

“Gil! I told you not to be such a worrywart! Now scoot over.”

Hesitantly, Gil obeys and moves over until there is enough room for Oz to slide in under the covers. Oz pulls the blankets up and tucks them in so they are wrapped tightly around both of them. He carefully puts his arms around Gil and holds him close as the shivering begins to slow and then to stop. “See, isn’t that better?” Oz asks, feeling the rhythmic beat of Gil’s heart against his chest.

It’s a few moments before Gil answers and when he does his voice is soft and relaxed. “I’m a lot warmer now. How’d you know what to do?”

Oz breathes in the softness of Gil’s hair. It’s kind of tickly having it so close to his face, but he doesn’t mind. “Sometimes Ada would get sick when she was really little and I would have to hold her like this. It was the only thing that would help when she had a bad fever.” He scowls at the thought. “I thought you were getting better?”

“I am,” Gil answers. “It used to be a lot worse.”

Oz frowns. “I’m sorry you had to be alone for so long.”

“It’s okay, Oz,” Gil says, his voice drowsy and muffled from the blankets, “You’re here now.”

***

 _Present_

A soft touch in his hair makes Gil wake with a start. He hadn’t even realized he had fallen asleep. Still feeling a bit hazy, he looks up with a shock to see Oz staring down at him. Just a few hours ago when Gil looked in Oz’s eyes they were distant and unseeing, like he was caught in a fantasy world that was only visible to him. Now Gil can tell that Oz is really and truly there. The relief he feels is so overwhelming he wants to grab Oz and shake him and hug him at the same time for giving him such a fright. Instead he takes Oz’s hand and holds it with a firm grip. Oz squeezes back weakly.

“Gil,” Oz says, his voice rough from days of disuse, “What happened?” He looks around uncertainly, taking in the bed, the basin, and the colorful array of medicines brought by the doctors from Pandora.

Gil hesitates for a moment, not trusting himself to speak. “It was the headhunter. He was trying to poison me and he got you instead.” His voice catches and he has to look away. “I’m sorry Oz. This is my fault. I should have stayed away.” Oz deserves a better servant than him. Someone who can protect him at all times.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Gil!” Oz pushes himself up so he is sitting straighter in the bed. “You had no way of knowing what the headhunter was going to do. You can’t blame yourself.” As Oz speaks his voice becomes stronger and more certain.

Gil looks at him incredulously. “You almost died. Don’t you understand? You almost died and it would have been my fault!” Gil knows that his voice is getting louder and louder, but he can’t seem to control it. He’s shaking now and the anger and pain inside him seem to be building. He squeezes his eyes shut to try and block out the sudden onslaught of feelings. Suddenly, he feels Oz’s hand warm against his cheek and the all the rage drains out of him in a rush.

“Gil, open your eyes,” Oz demands. “I need you to look at me.”

Almost without his own control Gil’s eyes snap open and he can’t help but meet Oz’s eyes. Oz is pale, his face still flushed with fever, his hair disheveled, but he is alive. And his eyes are warm and gentle. “Breathe,” Oz orders. And he does, gulping in air like he’s been starved for oxygen.

Oz smiles at him, the smile lighting up his whole face. “I need some food. And a bath.” Oz wrinkles his nose. “I stink! Do you think you could help me out with that, Gil?”

Gil looks anxiously at the door. “Let’s just wait until Alice comes back. I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“Oh, Gil. Don’t be such a worrywart!” Oz complains. “I’m fine! “ He frowns, “And I swear we’ve had this conversation before.”

Gil thinks for a moment. “I remember. When I was sick. You got into bed with me and stopped my shivering.” It’s one of the precious memories Gil had held on to when Oz was lost in the Abyss for all those years. When he didn’t think he could go on for any longer without him.

“Oh, yeah,” Oz says. “I remember now. You were really sick. I was worried! And Uncle Oscar almost wouldn’t let me come visit you.”

“I was glad when you came.” That was an understatement. At the time he had been horribly sick and completely alone for almost a week before Oz had appeared. It had made him so happy to see a familiar face. Especially when that face belonged to Oz.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t want you to freak out there by yourself. Being a huge scaredy-cat and all.” Gil swats at him and Oz laughs and dodges Gil’s hand, catching it with his own and holding it still. Then he closes his eyes and lies back against the pillows. “On second thought, the bath can wait. I’m really tired.” Gil smiles when Oz doesn’t let go of his hand.

END


End file.
